Interlude: Impromptu implosion

By Isla Skylark -

 I don't know what is wrong with me today.

My head won't stop hurting. My eyes want to cry. I feel hope and dread all at the same time. It feels as though I'm spiralling inward. It feels as though my thoughts are not my own. As though my emotions are a vague afterimage. As though I am gasping for air and yet no molecule fills my lungs. 

Good things are happening in my life. Things are going as well as they could. I am reminded about how loved I am constantly. 

And yet, every sound makes my ears ring. Everything is numb to the touch. My senses can't bare this existence.

The cards might have been right. The tower appeared in a reading this week. When I saw it, I understood what was coming. I also understood that this is a time for perseverance. I feel lost. I feel as though I could just run away. All I want is for someone to take the reigns for a bit, while I rest. 

Maybe I overestimated my capabilities. Believing that I could take on everything that I have. Even trying to remain positive in my thinking gives me anxiety. 

I think I need to sleep again.

Now to conclude with a short poem:

Impromptu Implosion

Twisted thoughts
invaded my soul,
telling me to spiral.

Holding my breathe,
I wait for the storm to pass.
What is this weight I feel?

Seizing.
Engulfing.
Imploding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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